So thankful...

I have not been where I need to be (in God) for a long time and this was my fault. Jonathan and I have been through so much in the last year or so. Battle after battle after battle. I felt discouraged and stuck. It is so easy to get caught up in our circumstances and before you know it, your whole outlook has changed. I just realized yesterday that I can't change our situations. Worrying about them sure didn't help. I don't want to just "deal" with whatever life has to throw at us. I want to be strong enough to have faith and truly believe that God can make a way for us where we don't see one. Yesterday I was reminded of how good God has been to me and how I have taken it for granted. I used to be so sensitive to the Holy Spirit. I remember when there wasn't a single Church service that I didn't feel God's presence and cry and cry. When I first was saved I remember thinking...How could anyone that has ever been touched like this turn away from it? Now I know cause I have been there. I never intended to turn away from God. I just got so wrapped up in everything we had been going through that I slipped farther and farther away. It got to the point that when I went to Church and the Spirit was flowing, I felt nothing. God could have been standing right next to me and I wouldn't have even known it. I had allowed my heart to grow cold. For the first time in a very long time (yesterday morning) I felt the Lord. It was as if he just wrapped his arms around me and said "I'm still here." How amazing is that? I didn't deserve another chance and the crazy thing is that I didn't even ask for one. He just showed up at a time when I had already given up. And then last night...wow!!! Church was amazing. God moved for so many and it was awesome. I had that hunger back. I wanted to pray and believe for others. I wanted to praise and worship God like he deserves for me to. I am so thankful for what the Lord has done for me. Have my circumstances changed? No. (Not YET.)...But now I realize that no matter what I might be going through, God wants to be there for me and if I will just stay strong and put my trust in him...I KNOW that things will change for the good.